Enough head-hanging at the season gone by, Suns fans. The NBA draft is a month away, and soon after, it'll be time for free agent signings, then the Vegas summer league, and then, before you know it, it's training camp time for the 2007-08 season.
It’s time to look ahead, to think about the future. That’s what I’m doing, and I started the process last week by holding talks with the Suns organization to renew my status as a blogger for the Suns.com website.
Such negotiations can be tense. If talks between players and a team are nearly as nerve-wracking as talks between a blogger and a team, then it’s a wonder team officials and pro basketball stars have any fingernails left, let alone knuckles or wrists. In the interests of continuing to use my somewhat special status as a typical fan officially associated with the Suns to bring other fans “beyond the curtain” whenever possible and share glimpses of what goes on behind the scenes, I thought it might be educational to present the transcript of my renegotiation talks with the organization. Present for the conference call were Suns VP of Interactive Services Jeramie McPeek, my Agent, and myself.
McPeek: Hello?
Beechen: Jeramie! My man!
McPeek: Who is this?
Beechen: It’s Adam Beechen!
McPeek: (silence)
Beechen: From the website!
McPeek: Website…
Beechen: The Suns website. I write a blog. From the fan’s perspective.
McPeek: Oh, right. How did you get my home number, and why are you calling me…at 3 am?
Beechen: Oh, well, see, I read in this book about negotiating contracts that you’re supposed to use the element of surprise, and hit up your employer when they’re not expecting it! Are you surprised?
McPeek: Yeah…So are my wife and children, who were sleeping soundly. “Hit up your employer” for what?
Beechen: About extending my contract to continue my blog for Suns.com for the 2007-08 season! I’ve got my agent right here on the phone!
Agent: *snoring*
Beechen (loud whisper): Mom! Wake up!
Agent (startled): Adam! Is there an intruder in the house? What do I smell on your breath? Are you on drugs?
Beechen: Heh heh…Just lulling you into a false sense of security, Jeramie…You should know we’re very prepared for a brutal series of negotiations, and we have a lot of leverage on our side.
McPeek: Leverage?
Beechen: Yep. I hate to break it to you like this, but the Milwaukee Bucks have made me a very lucrative offer…
McPeek: To write a “Superfan” blog for them?
Beechen: That’s right.
McPeek: But you’re not a fan of the Bucks in any way, shape, or form.
Beechen: Well, no. I was going to try to convert their fans into being Suns fans…
McPeek: Uh huh. What are they offering to pay you?
Beechen: Pay me?
McPeek: Are you telling me their “lucrative offer” was just to LET you write a blog for them? The same as we do?
Beechen: They offered to match anything I was receiving from the Suns.
McPeek: We don’t give you anything, except a little bit of bandwidth for your blog.
Beechen: Exactly. So you better sweeten your deal with me, if you want to keep me around!
McPeek: Sweeten it how?
Beechen: Oh, I have a list of demands! My agent will read them off.
(long pause)
Agent: *snoring*
Beechen (loud whisper): Mom! The list of demands!
Agent (startled): Huh?! Oh…Adam demands season tickets.
McPeek: No.
Agent: Adam demands Suns locker room access and a ride to and from every game with Steve Nash.
McPeek: No and no.
Agent: Adam demands a spot in the Ring of Honor, with a special halftime induction ceremony during the regular season opener.
McPeek: Heck no.
Agent: Adam demands lambada lessons from Leandro Barbosa.
McPeek: What?
Beechen: I’m aware it’s a forbidden dance, so I’m flexible on that one. Keep going, Mom.
Agent: Adam demands a spot in the team photo for 2007-08, his own bobblehead doll, an autographed foam finger from Robert Sarver, and a bag of the Gorilla’s toenail clippings.
McPeek: I’m going back to bed. Adam, good luck in Milwaukee.
Beechen: Wait! Jeramie, wait! You know I don’t want to go to Milwaukee! I’m a Suns fan for life! Negotiations are supposed to be give-and-take…Tell me what you’re prepared to offer me, and we’ll go from there!
McPeek: What we’re prepared to offer you? How about your own fan blog on Suns.com for another season?
Beechen: That’s it?
McPeek: That’s it.
Beechen: How about at double my current salary?
McPeek: Well, we’re not paying you anything, so two times nothing is nothing.
Beechen: I know, I know, but it’ll sound good in my press release. Is it okay if I say I’m getting twice as much?
McPeek: Whatever.
Beechen: Then it’s a deal! I’ll have my agent draw up the papers, we’ll send them over, and then we can start discussing plans for next season! I’m thinking I’ll fly everywhere with the Suns on the team charter…
*Sound of McPeek's phone hanging up*
Beechen: Yes! Back with the Suns for another go-round! I’m a veteran, now! Sure feels good. Although, I gotta say, I kind of expected more from you as my agent, and I’m seriously considering cutting your percentage of my new contract down to four percent from five. Still, all in all, I think everything worked out pretty well, don’t you? Mom?
Agent: *snoring*
Comments
Luca - Forlì - Italy
If the events of game 4 were happened in an Italian soccer match, they would keep on protesting and complaining about the ref. On the contrary, you're already thinking about the future and trying to have some fun. That's the way sport should be. God bless America. Ciao e forza Phoenix!
Noah Salinas Jr. - Tucson
Man-O-man! Was that funny. I like u. I think ur good sense of humor and from what I hear your strong passion for the SunS can rattle up enough if not more non-believers to come and join the "purple parade" hahaha. Lets do it!
Valerie - Phoenix
Hahahaha...Adam, your blogs always make me laugh. I love you, man, but seriously, what are you doing on suns.com? You're a really good writer! You should have your own comic strip or something! Actually, I think I'd cry if you stopped blogging for the Suns...but anyway, keep blogging over the summer so us Suns fans have something fun to read every once in a while during the off season!!!!!
Hannah - Fredericksburg, VA
It's great to hear you'll be around for another season, (the Suns Championship season!!!) I am looking forward to your blog in the future! (By the way, I think Steve should at least give you 1 ride to a game.) ;) GO SUNS!!!
Jamone - Virginia
Congrats on your new contract. You might have done better if you had called a D'antoni. Not the ones in Phoenix, but their big sister in Wva.
Susan :-) - Hawaii
You know what Mr. Beechen? Your sense of humor and creative flair always brings a "smile" to my face. All of the blog writers on Suns.com is appreciated! It's a great thing that there is a potpourri of blog writers who possess certain personalities and successfully relate to the Suns fans who visit this site regularly! (moi included :-) I think the element of surprise was a good idea...Mr. McPeek had no idea what he was agreeing to..what a riot! I can't WAIT until the season greets us once again! We can't let Mr. Trophy down again..no way! At least I got the Vegas Summer league to visit in person..I'm in a SUNS withdrawal! GOOO SUNS..forever your fan! ~ Aloha ~
Carla - Cottonwood, AZ
LOL! You're to funny, Adam. Looking forward to next year. Going through serious Suns with drawls.
It's so hard to go to all the regular season games, go to the Playoffs to have the rug pulled out from under us by the cheating, Spurs.
Keep the faith and we'll see you next year.
bob c - Philippines
Same here with me. SUNS forever!!!
Davey - Minneapolis, MN (from Chandler, AZ)
Great blog, glad to see you're returning. I wish SUNS.com would give me bandwidth and call me superfan #2. After all, I never sat down during the playoff games, and I probably woke half the people up in my apartment complex. All of this while having people walk by my first floor window, gawking at the spectacle I made of cheering the team on.
They just don't understand...they're Minnesotans...
Megumi - New York
Oh, Adam! You're so funny!! The good news is that you'll be around for another season! Looking forward to reading your blogging!!
Cory - Missoula, MT (from Phoenix, AZ)
Thanks for wasting my time with that idiocracy.
Lori Ann - Sedona Superfan
Absolutely hysterical, Adam. I'm still hanging on to the hope that you'll write a book of the adventures in your life of hoops and Superfandom ! I'm humbled that YOU named me: Sedona Superfan. Of course, my big brother took ALL the credit for that. Okay, okay.....so he DID force me to watch the Suns since 1968 and collegiate basketball, eventually. Thank heavens there was no "pro"-wrestling when we were kids. I might have been a runaway-- not the norm in those days (not to mention what my parents woulda' done to me---ack !) You're my favorite writer Adam, and a true inspiration to me. Have I drilled that into your head enough ?! You'll never catch THIS fan hanging her head ! I'm a true optimist through and through. 'Forward baby --- forever FORWARD (no basketball pun intended there). In GREAT hope, with oodles of gratitude and "antsy-ticipation" for the Suns' 07-08 season. PS. Take note of Valerie's comment(s) above !!! ;-)
JP - Paulden, Az
What happens now with the pick we were supposed to receive in the Joe Johnson trade? Since Atlanta picked third are we withoutany compensation?
Adam Beechen -
JP - The Suns receive Atlanta's first round pick regardless of where it falls in the draft. Even if it's the number one pick overall, it comes to Phoenix. Suns fans, get out your anti-Hawks voodoo dolls!
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